An orgasm achieved with no genital contact is an extra genital orgasm. Fewer than 10 percent of women or men can reach orgasm simply from kissing passionately or by having their breasts or nipples kissed or sucked, their thighs caressed or licked, or their ears or neck nuzzled. How can it be done? Women and men who experience extra genital orgasms are able to excite themselves through erotic thoughts and fantasies to the point where any form of physical stimulation sends them over the edge into orgasm. In men, the phenomenon most frequently occurs in the "wet dream," a nocturnal orgasm and ejaculation following an erotic dream.
Caress or have your partner caress your penis and testis until you are on the verge of another orgasm. Switch the stimulation to a non genital area such as abdomen, groin or inner thighs. Alternate from genital to non genital, stimuli until you are so close to orgasm that a simple touch like running a finger down the inner thigh could induce it.
How to have a Spontaneous Orgasm.
The ultimate no-hands solitary sex experience, a spontaneous orgasm occurs with no physical stimulation at all. How do to do it?
First, relax. Take a warm bath, have a glass of wine, put on some light music, light aromatic candles, create a lush, passionate, and emotional sexual fantasy. Breathe and lay on your back, knees bent, feet spaced well apart, take deep breaths. Pull your breath down into your body so deeply you can feel your diaphragm expanding and can imagine air going all the way down to your genitals. Slowly you breathe out. Pull that air all the way out, again imagining you are drawing it up through your genitals into your body. Pant.
After a dozen or so deep breaths, pant. Breathe rapidly from your belly with your mouth open. Now use the fire breathing technique. Begin with relaxing shallow breaths. Then breathe deeply and inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Make the breathing continuous or circular. Imagine a circle of fire beginning first as a small circle, nose through mouth, then expanding to include chest, belly, and finally the genitals. Feel the erotic heat moving in a circle throughout your body as you breathe.
Flex the pelvic muscles alone or in combination with the breathing. Coordinate your flexing with deep breathing. Switch to panting, and then back to deep breathing, finally to fire breathing all the while flexing the muscles. If you don't have an orgasm this way, don't despair. Most won't. But use the technique during masturbation or intercourse and feel how much stronger your orgasm is.
How to have a Whole Body Orgasm.
The whole body orgasm occurs when you are feeling particularly sensual, sexual, or both. For most, the experience is a complex blend of emotional, sensual, and sexual elements. It is possible in midlife than earlier. If you want to experience one, try this:
Practice the techniques for extending orgasm until you are able to do so.
Practice the techniques for spontaneous orgasm until you are arouse almost to the point of orgasm through fantasy and breathing alone.
Practice the techniques for multiple orgasms until you are able either to have them or, to continue a state of arousal past orgasm. Combine the skills you've mastered in a lovemaking session with your partner when you are feeling very emotionally connected.
If you do not experience a whole body orgasm, you will almost undoubtedly have a wonderful time together.
The point of this mastery is to encourage you to expand your orgasmic potential, not set orgasm goals or measure your performance against any other men. The exercises are worth doing, whether they result in extended, whole-body, extra genital or multiple orgasms, or not. They will improve the quality and perhaps the quantity of the orgasms you're having now. In turn, it will give you physical, psychological, and emotional benefits as well as help strengthen the intimacy bond with your partner. Some couples believe that the ultimate expression of sexual intimacy is the simultaneous orgasm.